Bcoz I need to write something.

Hello guys,

Hey! It's December already! But I only have two entry for this year. hahahaha. the Earth spinning too fast maybe until I doesn't get to catch up with all these things so called blog. hahaha. but as usual. as I doesn't have anyone to chit chat with. so I'll write. hehe. instantly, I'm with someone. that somenone's name is Maslie bin Abdul Malik. he called himself as Mr Slay. so automatically I become Mrs Slay. hahaha. and as the trend now. we also have our own hashtag which is #MrMrsSlay . almost same like Mr and Mrs Smith isn't it? hahaha.

we've been together for juuust 9 months only. baru sangat. hehe. alhamdulillah i'm happy with him. He is happy with me. but yeah. sometimes we do fight like the other couples did. like now. hahahaha. that is why I'm writing right now. I just want to express about how I feel towards him. I do love him so much. I love the way we manage our relationship if there is any problem. we'll discuss it like the adults. solve the problem together. try to find time and space to think about each other mistakes. I hope this relationship will be last forever since I think that both of us can handle our problems nicely so far. hahaha. I don't know about the future. but I hope it will remain the same.

the thing is we just have to accept each other strength and weakness. if I make a mistake so I'll ask for an apology and he'll do the same thing. but this is the real world laa kan. of course I felt hurt when we had a fight. hahaha. I can't laa fight with him. it really kills me inside. wuuu. i hope things will get better soon right now. hee. here is our picture together. just to introduce him to my blog world. heeeee :)

This picture was taken when we were in matriculation. first picture together. strictly as friends only. 2011. hee

Recently, this second picture was stolen from his facebook with the caption "sebab kalau buat2 comel telampau mainstream" hahahahaha

Thank you for your presence in my life. You make me happy and I appreciate that :)

My end of love story

Firstly, this blog is not as cheerful as before anymore. I'm sorry. I don’t really know how to express this feeling. But I have to. After all time I hold it in myself. I really felt the burden now. He doesn’t care about me anymore. This time he really really really don’t show any types or any signs that he still care about me. Nothing at all. I can see it because I daily stalk on his twitter account. Day after day, I feels like he is going far far from me. And close close to this one girl. But I don’t want to mention about her. What is important here is he really don’t care about me anymore. While I myself, every single day I willing to stalk to his twitter account with intention to actually know whether he is doing fine with his life or what. Even he makes his account private, but I still look into an effort to see his twitter account. Haha. Pathetic isn’t it?

I’ve tried to ask him three times to accept me back. But sadly, he rejected me for that three times. Maybe he really really really don’t love me anymore and I need to conscious about it. Yes, I admit it here. It’s me that act like a crazy girl for chasing after him even we already break up for almost 5 months. I don’t want to show off or what-so-ever but there are many guys who came after me and ask me about this sort of things called love. Love love love. Sadly for those guys, I really can’t accept you guys at this moment. My feeling is still strong for him.

Now I really hope that my feeling can change for him. Even if it is have to be slowly. I really really hope it will fade along with the time pass. There is no more point for me to remember him as he doesn’t remember me. I strongly can’t even look at him for these 5 months. Because if I do so. I feel the pain. I don’t know what about him. But for me yes. Sometimes, I really can’t bear it. I will go for a ride by myself if I feel really down or in other words, if I really miss him. I would even cry for the whole night until I get into my dream world because missing him like so much. I wonder if he felt the same way as I do. But I think it is too far for now. His friends said that he attracted to this one girl. I don’t know who she is. But his friends told me that he once saw his wallpaper screen is occupied with a girl picture. And I don’t know who. But obviously that girl wasn’t me. And the worst thing when I felt stress is I tend to think that I’m going to have a cigarette. Isn’t that too much for a girl like me? But yes I do feel so. We’re also break up because of this cigarette thingy. He started to smoking again while we still in relationship and I don’t like it and I ask a break up from him shortly. Then, without think for the long time period effects, so now this is it. I can’t forget him until today because I really love him. Even more than myself. I can bet you that no one will ever love him like I did. Is it my entire fault to say those words to him at the black worst day? I do ask him to not to smoke. Tolerate with him. But he told me that it is his own choice to start smoking again. No one ask him to do that. I really sad and disappointed that time. Oh my god. How pathetic my love story is. Just because of the cigarette and our love can’t be continue as we wish. We have so many plans to do together in the future. And it is all ruins in one night. One night! I really feel ohh I don’t know how to describe it with words. Too hurt to be felt. Too much love for him that lastly makes me feel the pains. I’m not put the blame 100% on him about this decision that I’ve made that day. It is also about me that make things too rush. I didn’t think wisely that time. I follow my fool anger. It was my mistakes. Totally.

My friend always told me that I will find someone better than him. I know. I admit it. but yet I still can’t get over him. I’ve tried many times to convince myself. Forget about him. Forget about him. But at the end of the day, I can’t. I will think about him again and again. Everyday! Not even one day I didn’t think about him after 5 months we’ve clashed.  He never even try to approach me back. Want to meet me or text me or call me. Not even once. I guess he have ego as high as the Mount of Everest. Or maybe even higher than the mountain.  Or maybe he really doesn’t want to be with me again. He really don’t want. I am nightmare for him maybe. So pathetic. From now onwards, I would really like to try. This time I’ll try harder to forget my feeling towards him because he now admiring another girl. Love to socialize in the social networking with the girl. Even the girls is one of my friends. But she also looks like happy for doing that. Then yes, I will try my really best to forget him. Even we were in the same university. The worst part. Same university.

I still remember the quotes that I think suitable for us the previous day. “Meeting you was a fate. Being your friend was a choice. But falling in love with you is beyond my control”. Now it’s all gone.

I have lost my other half :'(

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarokatuh

Hati yang bersedih. Hati yang kesepian. Hati yang hancur. Hati yang memerlukan. Hati yang menanti sebuah cinta. Hati yang meronta. yaa. Itu hati aku sekarang. Apa yang aku buat sekarang hanya menanti. Menanti dia untuk terima aku balik. Perlu masa dan ketenangan katanya. Aku cuma minta satu peluang. Aku mengaku aku salah sebab terburu-buru buat keputusan. Aku menyesal to the max and wanna be with you lagi. tapi kau macam nda mahu suda sama aku lagi. Aku tengok kau bahagia dengan kawan-kawan mu. alhamdulillah. tapi aku terseksa sebab kau tiada lagi di sisi. aku redha. aku masih menanti mu dengan kesabaran. asal kau tidak berubah hati. kadangkala aku rasa malas mahu tunggu. kau gembira di samping kawan-kawan mu. tanpa aku. dan itu membuat aku lebih sedih dan sedih dan sedih. kalau orang mau cakap aku ne bodoh. memang aku bodoh. gara-gara masalah ni aku nda lalu mahu makan. diri sendiri pun nda teratur. study nda boleh fokus. sebab apa? sebab aku rindu kau. setiap masa setiap waktu aku rindu kau. semua yang ada di depan mata ku buat aku teringat dengan kau. dan finally buat aku lagi sakit. hari ni hari ke tujuh aku cuba tahan diri ku daripada mesej kau. betapa aku mahu bagitahu kau setiap hari yang aku sayang kau. aku rindu kau. tapi aku tahan. sebab kau cakap kau mahu kan ketenangan. kau cakap kau terasa terkongkong. mesti sekarang kau rasa lebih bebas kan. kalau bebas mesti happy kan. tiada suda yang mahu ikut kau pegi mana-mana. tiada suda orang sibuk-sibuk mahu pegi tengok kau main futsal. tidak perlu memujuk aku yang kuat merajuk. tidak perlu buang tenaga mahu cari aku untuk jumpa aku. hmm. apa-apa pun. kau cakap kita kawan kan. iya lah. kita kawan. thankyou my dear friend. i miss you so much friend :'(

A thousand years :)

assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarokatuh ~

hye semua. aku bosan. aku mau share cerita. sikit-sikit2 jak. mau merepek sikit-sikit. rindu suda bha mau berleter membebel dalam belog ne banyak-banyak. haha. sebenarnya banyak oke? huhu. oke la. A thousand years. lagu tema filem Twilight yang gempak tu. haaa. best kan? aku suka. kamu sukak ka jugak? kami sukaaa. siapa kami? aku dengan boyfriend ku laa. miahahaha.

aku mau cerita pasal si cinta hati yang sekarang ni dalam perjalanan balik ke Sabah !! One step closer.. lalalaaa. yeahhh !! aku happy berabis gilak mau mampus ne sekarang. aaarrghh ! lama betul suda nda mnengok muka nya yang comel tu. boyfriend i comel okay. haha. i love him. so much. for a thousand years. infinity years. mau nya aku kawin sama tu anak. tapi naaa. awal bhaa kan. sabar dulu bos. hahaha. belajar dulu kami. kasi habis dulu kami punya ijajah ini. haha. bilang orang bajau yang tua2. 'z' dorang ndak lurus kan. izajah jadi ijajah. haha. nehh. jahat nya aku. maka aku pun bajau. hahaha. oke naa arung ! haha

and then. i promised to you guys. my dear readers. nanti nexxxxttt entry. sure best punyaa. guess what ?! TRAVEL !! yihuuu. the place is confidential. okay. rahsia. secret. nda mau bagi tahu uols. nanti uol kejar nak mintak sainn ! hahaha. joke oke. perasan retiss lagi aku sekejap kan. haaaa. aiyaaa. 

ehhh. aiyaaa *cinak . aiyoyooo*tamil. adoooiii *malay. excited benor ghase nye mau menulis entry kali ne yaa. tersemangat lebih sikit sebab semalam baca entry lama. correction uols. bukan dua tahun lebih usia belog ne okay. tapi about four years !! wahh. its a long time ago kan. since 2009. masi budak kecik lagi aku. umur 16 tahun. haha. sekarang ? berapa la suda umur ku? 20 !! aaarghh. macam aku nda percaya plak tahun ne aku berusia 20 tahun already. digit puluh tu. bikin seram okayy. haha. 20. omaigod. haha.. macam mau dewasa suda ne kalau umur 20 ne. haha. mataii. aduhh. terlebih sudaa. haha.

as usual la kan uols. kalau aku start merepek2 membebel2 dalam belog ku ne. memang akan banyak la "haha" words. haha.. again. hahaha. and again. hahaha. yeahh. aku sukak ketawa orang nya. hentam la orang mau cakap apa. yang penting kita happy. betol tak ? **wink2 :P

ermm. mau setory lagi. move on and on. esok ! last payyyperr. last paaayyyyperr. yahuuu. esok exam aku last payyper. haa. asal sebut paper msti paayyypeerr. macam si Jozan cakap dalam Lawak ke der. haha. lucu gilak tu dua ekor munyit. hahaha. bikin sa katawa jak tinguk diurang punya prangai. nah. takaluar suda loghat kk sa. haha. salah lagi. eh.. haha. orang Tawau bha aku ne eh. miahaha. ada aku kesah kan aku mau cakap loghat apa. mau dogok kek mau bajau kek mau semnanjung kek mau thailand kek. biar la bha kan. baru best kan kalau banyak2. apa tu bilang orang sains2. variasi? naaa. itu diaa. variasi nama nyaa. yihiii. jangan la bacat. haha. aku tulis untuk bacaan aku di masa hdapan okay. aku suka. aku suka. aku sukaa ! :DD

after the payyerr finished. what's next ? malam nya kita ramai2 jumm pegi jumpa cinta hati kitaa. yeyehh. jumpa cinta hati. yeyehhh !. haha. dasaar. umur 20 tahun pun masi macam 2 tahun kan. haha. memang kurniaan tuhan la kan aku ne memang childish. hahaha. selalu ja kepoh. orang selalu cakap aku ne kepoh. haha. hantam laa. cinta hati ku cakap. "gasak syak laaa". haha. wahai cinta hati. kau terima jak la ya keadaan cewek mu yang childish ne. eleh. ko pun sama jugak childish. hahaha. wuekk :P . i love you baby. ! haha.

ini some mms yang my cinta hati bagi time si cinta hati berada di kejauhan. huu. cute right this picture? and the quotes is the most important thing. sweet ! my sayang is saaaangat sweet ! macam gula. eh. kalah gula! haha. i love him so much ! thanks to Him and him cause until today i able to smile like ngeeeeeee *sampai telinga :D

oke la sampai sini. penat mau taip suda. to all readers. thanks sebab sudi baca sampai habis yaa. thank youu.  kalau sudi. drop lerr jejak. comment kaa. apa kaa. hehe. thanks a lot to WD supporter yang setia membaca. love uols. byee :)